Sunday, April 10, 2011

sighh ): its over !! D: i wished i actually treasured the moments we had together :D yup but im sure we will from now onwards :D right right? xD it was truely a great expierence in my life that i wouldnt forget. ever. omg how can you be so close to her! i thought that i was closer to you then her? why? your younger then me! its so unfair ): was it me who changed? why? i had the courage to ask you how you felt, but it always 'ran away' before i could ask you cuz i was afraid of the answer you would give. but i would surely ask you before you go (: somehow.. time to sleep :D school tmr

Saturday, March 26, 2011

i feel like killing myself.
what really is a good team player?
is it true that im controlled by other ppl?
and that i always do what they want me to do? fitting to them?
i know i sound so unreasonable but what can i do? dont you have parents like i do?
i probably wont have any friends by tonight or maybe, lets say now.. why do i find it so hard to work with ppl? it's because of me right.. yeahh its because of me. i probablly want everything to go by my way, but someone has to sacriffice no? but i do have to say im the one always trying to get things my way.. yes MY WAY! GO ON, HATE ME FOR THAT. NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IM LIKE. JUST HATE ME. ITS OKAY IF I DONT HAVE FRIENDS OR ANYTHING. IM USED TO BEING ALONE OR BEING THE SELFISH ME!
just let me get a ZERO for this project.
you can flame me or anything, im not saying all this to get your to pity me or smth. just forget about it. pretend you dont even know me or smth

Monday, March 21, 2011

sighh life sucks.. at this point of time.. really.
20 more days and its already like hell.. and i mean it!
and not only this, there are many problems surfacing on top of this. i really want to talk to someone about it and cry my heart out. but they would probably just think im a crybaby right? and everything is my fault. yes its my fault.
im afraid
and guess what day it is today. i bet not even YOU remember or maybe you do. i really wanted to be on to tell you what day it was today but i couldnt. im not even sure if i would have the chance next year or not. ahh oh wells. maybe im just a typical teenager just going through what i need to go though.
well, the rainbow would only come out after the rain right? :D

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

i got myself embarressed again and disgraced..
why am i so lousy? i didnt practise hard enough? yes.
life for me was to be picked on? yes.
why so hard? at that point, i really held my tears in kay. thank god no one saw it. it was embarressmet, it was shame of not being able to meet your expectations.i know it. i wanted to act rash and quit but i decided not to as my time would have been wasted. oh wells.
kay back to studying xD

Monday, March 7, 2011

i miss you ):
i read through my old chats.. and i realised how mushy i was =O and how i mean i was..
sighh bad mood these days.. ppl just keep picking on me -.- like everything in the whole wide world is my fault.. yes its my fault that that happened.. its my fault for not seeing it.. so? why dont i get forgiven once? why am i always the one forgiving? or am i not? this sucks -.- i cant live like that anymoreeeeeeee! i need a hug.. a hug from someone i miss badly.. whom i used to talk to a lot.
-hugs- but i guess reading those stuff actually made me laugh alot at my silliness and yours too though its been so long since i last talked to you.. and even if i do, there is always this awkward silence of not knowing what to say. at most it was a hi and bye. sighhhhhhhhh
guess it would send soon.
why isnt there someone that i can share this with? they probably think its so childish and like go omg lihsuen, you actually have one? i mean its not even real!! -.-"tskk
ss test tmr.. finally after postponing it for 1 week.

Friday, March 4, 2011

HEYA ;D im happy
haha!mood swing from ytd huh.. but its still there
just that i just watched finish

Mei-chan no Shitsuji :D

awesome show YAY! though they should so make a second season or smth when the brother comes back and her difficulties in the company (: then it would be so cool la. love triangle :D hehehe but i still like her to be with the butler (:
i mean dont you think its damn cool to have a butler? and then fall for him? cuz he is super handsome and can do sooooooo many things :D HEHEHEHE im going high now, and smiling to myself (:
nahh tmr going to rgps to do marketing talk and then back for band later in the afternoon
i think marketing talk is going to be so fun :D
gahh okay

Thursday, March 3, 2011

secretly crying without anyone noticing has been quite common lately.. not sure why though.. simple stuff just make me sad.
im confused.
why do i really want from my life?
what happened to the cheerful me?
i know i didnt want it.. but why do i have this sense that i want it so damn badly?
why arent i working hard enough?
why is it that everyone hates me? am i not good enough? whats bad about me?
cant someone just go up to me and tell me straight in the face what i am like?
i would like friends.. whom i can trust.. whom i can talk to and share my feelings with..
why is my world so dark now? afraid, terrified of the loneliness.. i really am.